


There's So Many Voices

by penguinmina_uwu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Author Projecting, Canon Compliant, Confused Hyungs, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gen, Hospitals, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentioned Zhong Chen Le, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Park Jisung (NCT)-centric, Past Abuse, Please Be careful, Read tags, Sad Park Jisung (NCT), they have one nice manager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinmina_uwu/pseuds/penguinmina_uwu
Summary: It was like a drug, he was addicted. It was like playing music. His life was the orchestra, his body the violin.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags! This might be triggering to some people!

He knew this wasn’t healthy. It was far from healthy. But he couldn’t stop. It was like a drug, he was addicted. It was like playing music. His life was the orchestra, his body the violin. He held the bow in his hand, letting the music flow out. He watched as the blood rushed out, red and bright. The smell of copper clouded his mind. He gave a humorless laugh. “What has my life come too?” 

It’s normal at this point. No one suspects anything at all. Why would they? He isn’t worth anything. The only one who would find anything weird is Chenle, but he doesn’t live in the dorms. The rest of the members wouldn’t suspect anything. He’s the precious maknae of NCT isn’t he? Nothing should be wrong with him! He’s still a kid anyway. 

He’s had enough of it all. He hates talking with his parents, who constantly remind him he’s a disappointment. He hates looking at himself in the mirror, seeing himself gaining more weight. He hates all the other members babying him, treating him like the small twelve year old he was when he joined as a trainee. He hates how he’s a walking ball of anxiety wherever he goes. He hates how he acts like everything is fine, but he’s spiraling on the inside. He hates how the only way he copes is by hurting himself. He hates how he loves the rush when he feels the pain.

He knows he needs help. He knows, but he doesn’t care.  _ I’ll get the help later, I don’t need it now.  _ Even if he gets help, what good will it do? He’s already fallen so deep. He can’t get out of it now. Tears streamed down the sunken cheeks. Ragged breaths echoed through the bathroom. 

_ Worthless _

_ What would the rest of the members think of you? _

_ Crying in the bathroom over a few words? _

_ Come on cut some more, you deserve it _

No matter how hard he tried, the voice always won.


	2. Breathe Me

He knew all of it was going to unravel by itself, but he tried to keep it as secret as possible. But some things in the world are impossible.

The silence of the bathroom that Jisung craved was suddenly interrupted by pounding at the door. 

“Jisung, get out! We’re going to be late for practice if you don’t get your ass out now!” Renjun’s voice streamed through the gap under the door. Jisung mumbled in response, cleaning the blood.

-

After practicing for a few hours, most people’s patience would wear thin. Unfortunately, Jisung was not an exception to that. They’ve been practicing for their upcoming comeback nonstop for the past week, trying to perfect it.

“One more time from the top! Chenle please focus, you’re lagging just a little bit at the chorus.” Jeno called out. They practiced again and again, but Chenle kept messing up and Jisung’s annoyance kept going higher. 

“Oops sorry everyone! Let’s do that again!” Chenle’s high pitched voice rang through Jisung’s head and he snapped. 

“We’ve been doing this for the past two hours! You’re the only one who can’t get it! I asked you to practice with me and you said you didn’t need it! Well obviously that was a fucking lie!” The room went quiet. Chenle’s eyes widened, flashing with hurt. The rest of the members were shocked beyond words. Jisung was usually such a soft-spoken person. 

“I’m sorry Jisung, but I do know the steps. I’m just really tired today.” Chenle tried to reason, but this made Jisung even madder.

“Oh you’re tired? You’re tired? We’re all tired, but do you see us slacking off? I’m especially tired, but do you see me slowing down!” Jisung’s voice was getting higher as he spoke. Before he could go on, Haechan stepped in.

“Jisung, calm down! I agree we’re all tired, but you can’t go and vent out your frustrations on Chenle.” Jisung glared at the ground, then sneered at Haechan. 

“I’m not venting out anything. I’m just stating the facts. It’s not my fault you all are so dense you can’t even see what’s in front of your own goddamn eyes!” The rest of the boys in the room gasped. 

“Jisung, we’re your hyungs!” Renjun interjected. Jisung rolled his eyes. “Then act like it goddammit!” Jisung left the room with the rest of them staring at him in horror.

  
  


Jisung ran out of the room, running as fast as he could, trying to get as far away from the practice room as he could. He stopped in front of the 2nd floor bathroom, the one no one uses because of the “ghost”. He ran inside and splashed water onto his face. He looked at his reflection and laughed. “I’m so stupid. Why the hell did I do that? What the fuck is wrong with me?” He sank onto his knees, vision blurring with tears. His breaths quickened, as the voices in his head grew louder and louder. 

It was a good hour or so before he calmed down again. He wondered if the others were looking for him but then scoffed at the idea. “Why would they be worried for me? I’m a fucking disappointment.” He picked himself up and washed his face. He trudged out of the bathroom, not wanting to go back to practice. He checked his pockets for his phone and groaned. “Of course I left my phone there. I’m guessing it’s around 1 am now. I’ll just head back to the practice room to dance.” 

-

A loud bang startled him awake, making him hit his head on the floor. He got up, rubbing his head, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He realized, with a jolt, that he was still in the practice room.  _ “Guess I just fell asleep here.”  _ He was about to fall back asleep when loud voices woke him up. The door opened right as Jisung sat up. He was rubbing his eyes, trying to see who it was. 

“Jisung? What are you doing here? Did you sleep here all night?” Jisung opened his eyes to see Taeyong hovering over him.  _ Of course, it’s Mama Taeyong.  _ He looked behind the leader and saw the rest of 127 piling into the room. “Uhhhhhhhhhh no?” Taeyong lifted an eyebrow, making Jisung look away. “Yeah I stayed here all night.” he admitted, scolding himself on the inside. “Why would you do that? Didn’t the Dreamies have practice yesterday evening?” Taeyong looked over at Haechan, who was looking everywhere but Jisung. 

“Haechan? Didn’t you guys have practice yesterday?” Haechan nodded, still not looking at Jisung.

“When did you guys finish?”

“Around 11 maybe?” Taeyong looked back at Jisung who was looking at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world. The leader pushed his silver hair out of his face and sighed. “Come on Jisung. This isn’t healthy. We’ll call a manager to drive you back to the dorm.” Taeyong left the room, leaving Jisung and the rest of 127 alone. “Jisung, are you okay?” Johnny asked, a little concerned for the younger's well-being. Jisung just nodded and soundlessly got up. He walked over to where his bag was and tried to ignore Haechan, who was sitting right next to it. He finally looked up and tapped Haechan on the shoulder. 

“I’m sorry hyung. What I said yesterday was out of place. I didn’t mean any of it. As you said, we were all really tired and I just took my frustrations out on you guys.” Haechan looked at him and then looked away. “I know you didn’t mean it Jisungie, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Plus, I don’t think I’m the one you should apologize to. Chenle was really upset after you ran off.” 

Jisung looked down again. It seemed to be his favorite thing to do, considering how many times he’s done it. “I know, and I will once I go back to the dorm.” Haechan gave a small nod and looked up at Jisung again. He got up and gave him a hug. Jisung froze, not knowing what to do. But eventually he hugged back. They stood there for a few minutes until someone cleared their throat. They both looked and saw Mark with his eyebrows raised, completely confused as to what was going on. Haechan waved him off, stating that they will talk later. Jisung nodded at Haechan, bid the rest of 127 goodbye, and rushed to the awaiting manager.

-

  
  


It was quiet when Jisung entered the dorm. He tip-toed through the trash that they still hadn’t cleaned. He didn’t know what he was expecting when he opened the door to his and Jaemin’s shared room, but it certainly wasn’t all the members taking up the two beds, including Chenle. They all stopped talking when Jisung entered the room. He looked at each of them and looked down again. “I’m sorry, hyungs. I really am. What I said was unacceptable. I’m especially sorry to you Chenle. I didn’t mean those words at all.” Chenle got up and hugged him. “It’s ok Sungie. I know you didn’t mean it.” 

Jisung tried to smile but he couldn’t. He could see Chenle’s eyes were puffy from crying.  _ I’m the reason he cried. I did that. I’m the worst best friend ever. I’m not even a best friend. I’m so stupid. So fucking stupid.  _ The voices kept getting louder until he couldn’t take it. He ran out of the room, yelling something about the bathroom. The shut the door behind him and collapsed on the floor. He took out his broken blade and dragged it across his thighs. The pain pulled him out of his head, and he could breathe again.

He kept going, wanting to feel more pain. Trying to get out of his head. Over and over again, painting his thigh red. Wanting to escape the voices.

But the voices had him trapped.


	3. NOT AN UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning ahead

I know this is a NCT story but I just wanted to put this out here. Most of you probably know what this is about. If you don't, well, I'll tell you what I know.

A former member of Stray Kids ( **FORMER** ) has been accused of sexually assaulting a few girls at a bar.

At first when I heard this, I didn't know what to say. I know you're supposed to listen to the victim, but I didn't know what to think. I decided to stay neutral and see what happens. But when I saw the half-ass somewhat apology (?) that he made, my mind was fixed. He just brushed it off as rumors, said his company will take care of it, and then proceeded to promote his solo activities. His company isn't even real! I was so shocked when I saw it, expecting something more.

After a while, I saw that Felix had updated on Instagram with a caption that said _#8._ I am so conflicted. I used to look up to him and now I can't even bear to hear his name. I started crying. I cried for the poor girls. I cried for Stay. I cried for Stray Kids. I just cried so hard. I can't even imagine what they are all going through right now.

I'm absolutely disgusted at him and his actions. I know some people might come at me in the comments, but I don't care. He's absolutely vile for what he did.

Please do not go and spread hate at Stray Kids or NCT. Jungwoo and Taeyong are innocent. 

I had recently published a Stray Kids fic, but I took it down. I don't think anyone read that but if you want me too, I can rewrite it. 

Thank you guys for reading this rant of mine.

I hope you guys all have a wonderful day!!!! 💙💙

\-- penguinmina_uwu --


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much needed phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one is shorter than usual. I just wanted some calm before the storm. It's still pretty angsty but like kind of fluff, but not really lmao.
> 
> Have fun and please read the tags for triggers

It’s been a few weeks, since the incident, and he doesn't feel any better. In fact, he felt even worse than before. The members may have forgiven him, but he hasn’t forgiven himself. He tried his best, plastering a fake smile on his face. They finally started Ridin’ promotions, performing shows, attending variety shows, and other promotions. The boys had just come back from an interview, when Jisung got a call. He looked down at the caller id and frowned. It was an unknown number. He excused himself from the others to pick up the call.

“Hello?” he tentatively asked. There was some shuffling on the other side until a gruff voice answered.

_ “Sungie?”  _ Jisung stiffened. He hasn’t heard that voice in such a long time.

“Hyung?” he whispered. There was silence for a few seconds before the other broke it.

_ “How are you Jiji? You’ve become such a big idol now!”  _ There was a wet chuckle from the other side. Jisung sniffled and gave a small laugh.

“Yeah, I’m part of an idol group now. It’s fun, stressful, but fun. How about you hyung? I haven’t heard from you since…” He trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. 

_ “I’m fine now. I… I’ve found my place. It looks like you have too.”  _ Jisung looked down.

“I’m sorry hyung. I should’ve been there.” Tears were falling from his face as he realized how much he messed up.

_ “Please don’t blame yourself Jisung! It’s all my fault. As your older brother, I should’ve been there for you. I just wanted to call to see how you are. I miss you baby.”  _ Jisung was full on sobbing now, all the memories coming back.

“I want to see you hyung. I haven’t seen you in years.” He wheezed out. The sniffles on the other end of the phone got louder.

_ “I want to see you too, Sungie, but it will be hard. I’m busy, you’re busy. Maybe if I’m in town, I’ll let you know okay?”  _ He nodded, then forgot he won’t be able to see his face.

“That’s fine.” It was silent until some loud yelling was heard.

_ “I have to go now Sungie. I’ll… I’ll call again some time later, is that fine?” _

“Of course hyung. You can call me whenever.” The line cut off after a few goodbyes and Jisung stood there, not believing what just happened. He snapped out of it after a few minutes, wiping the tears off his face. He realized he was still standing in the same hallway and he ran to go find his members. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A really stressful hospital visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter..... is a lot. You guys will get some gist of the backstory of out favorite maknae. I'm so sorry Jisungie. 
> 
> Trigger Warning
> 
> Mentions of physical abuse  
> Mentions of self-harm  
> Mentions of violence  
> Swearing

It's been a few weeks since the phone call, and everything seems to have calmed down. Jisung texts his brother everyday, updating what’s going on with his stressful life.

It was a relatively normal day when the world collapsed. They were practicing again, the mirrors fogging up. 

“Jisung your phone is ringing!” Jaemin called out. Jisung put his hand out so Jaemin could put the phone in his hand, but frowned when his hand stayed empty. He looked up to see the blue-haired boy looking at Jisung’s phone with a frown on his face. “Is something wrong hyung?” Jisung asked, perplexed as to why Jaemin looked so mad. 

“I don’t understand how sasaengs keep finding our phone numbers. Look, they found yours!” Jisung put his head back when the phone was almost thrown into his face. It flashed  _ Unknown Number :)  _ over the top. Jisung just shook his head and took the phone from Jaemin’s hands. The others in the room watched in shock as he answered the phone.

“Hi hyung how are you?” Jisung asked excitedly. The others looked around at each other, confused. They looked back at Jisung, whose face was rapidly paling. He quickly cut the call and just sat there. Jeno took a step forward, hesitant.

“Is everything okay Sungie?” Jisung gave a startle and looked up at Jeno, unshed tears in his eyes. He shook his head and stood up. “I need Daewon hyung.” He ran out of the room, looking for their favorite manager.

Jisung ran through the halls, looking for the manager. He entered the staff room, breathless from the running. “Daewon Hyung! I need you to take me to the hospital!” The said manager looked at him worriedly. “Is one of the members hurt?” Jisung shook his head. “Someone I know is there, and I need to see them. Please take me there.” Daewon looked shocked at the crying boy. He nodded and they both rushed out of the room, towards the company van.

It took about thirty minutes for them to reach the desired hospital. When they arrived, Jisung all but ran into the lobby. He ran up to the desk lady, who looked startled to see someone rush in this fast. She smiled at him while he tried to catch his breath. “I… need… a minute.” By the time, he caught his breath, Daewon caught up to him.

“Sorry about that. I came to visit a patient.” The lady nodded and started typing away on her computer. “Name?” She asked. “Park Ji Woo. She’s twelve years old.” Jisung added shakily. The lady nodded once more and went back to her computer. 

“What is your relation to Ms. Park?” 

“Older brother.” Jisung answered, trying his best not to cry. Daewon looked at him in shock, not knowing he even had a sister.

“Are you Park Jisung?” Jisung nodded.

“Floor 3, room 124.” Jisung thanked her and the two rushed to the elevator. Daewon knew not to ask any questions but he was so confused. When the elevator doors opened again, Jisung rushed out, trying to get to the correct room. Finally they found the desired room, and Jisung took a deep breath. He opened the door and immediately burst into tears. 

Lying on the hospital bed, was a very young girl. Her eyes were closed and an oxygen mask was fastened over the lower half of her face. Jisung slowly walked up to her, crying uncontrollably. He brushed a few strands of her hair off her face and closed his eyes. 

“Jisung-ah?” Daewon took a hesitant step towards the younger boy. “I..I’m sorry.”

Jisung shook his head. “I’m the one who should be sorry. Because of me, my sister is now in the hospital.” Daewon put his hand on Jisung’s shoulder. “I don’t know what happened Sung, but I know it’s not your fault, ok?” Jisung gave a small nod and looked back at the girl on the bed. Daewon left after a few minutes, saying he will give Jisung some time alone.

Jisung waited until the door closed behind the manager before getting up. He took out his phone and saw at least 30 missed calls, from each of his hyungs. He ignored all of them and called his own brother. 

“Hyung? How long until you get here?”

_ “I’m on my way. 10 minutes maybe.”  _

“Alright. I’m here with her right now. I’ll see you later.” 

It was quiet for some more time until the door opened again. A nurse stepped inside and gave Jisung a warm smile. Jisung immediately stood up, wanting to know what exactly was going on. They introduced themselves to each other and then Jisung cut to the chase.

“What happened?” The nurse told him to calm down.

“It’s not life threatening. She seems to be malnourished. She just collapsed at school and they sent her here. She’s very skinny for her age. She’s also covered in bruises, burns, and scars. We tried to contact her parents but they didn’t pick up, so we called her older brother. He said he’s not in town right now but her other older brother is, which I’m guessing is you.” Jisung nodded and thought back on what she said. 

“If she just collapsed, then why is she not awake?” he demanded. “She did wake up. She’s just resting now, because she hasn’t been getting enough sleep.” Jisung nodded in understanding and went back to stroking his sister's hair. 

After some time, the door opened again and in came Jisung’s older brother. Jisung immediately ran for a hug. They stood there for a long time until some groaning was heard. They both looked over at the bed, where Jiwoo was stirring. They both immediately rushed over to the bed. Jisung almost pounced on her in his rush to give her a hug. While he was doing that, Jihoon pushed the button to call the nurse. They both were pushed out of there, while Jiwoo was being checked. As they were waiting outside, Daewon approached them, his expression serious. 

“Jisung I know that this is important but all your members are calling me demanding an explanation. You need to call them back. If you don’t want to, then I will.” Jisung sighed. “Can you call and inform them that we’re ok? Don’t tell them where we are, I will explain that in person.” Daewon sighed but nodded. He then looked over a Jihoon, who was looking awkward, and gave a small nod. Jihoon raised an eyebrow, but nodded back. He nudged Jisung’s shoulder. “Wow, look at you. Being all responsible. Never thought I’d see that happening.” Jisung rolled his eyes, playing it off cool. But inside, he was ecstatic. How long has it been since he got to have a small playful banter with his brother. Before he could dwell on the thought, they were called back inside.

When they entered, they were suddenly hit by small arms. They smiled down at Jiwoo and hugged her back with just as much force. She looked up at them with tears. “I’ve missed you guys so much!” The two older boys watched with amusement as Jiwoo kept rambling on. It took a few minutes before she finally ran out of air and asked for some water. The sudden silence was broken by small sobs coming from Jiwoo. 

“I’m so sorry for making you guys come here. It was my fault.” Jisung’s heart clenched. She was going through so much and he wasn’t there. He took her hand in his own. He didn’t really know how to calm someone down, so he imagined what Taeyong would tell him. “Don’t cry Ji, it’s not your fault. We love you so much. You don’t have to apologize. We’ll drop everything for you. Just today, I basically pushed my hyungs away from me. But I do that all the time.” Jiwoo cracked a small smile at the joke. They joked around for some time until the mood became somber again.

“I don’t want to go back home.” Jiwoo admitted quietly. Jihoon and Jisung stilled, not knowing what to say. Jihoon put his hand on her shoulder and sighed. “If I put in a report, you would be able to come into our custody.” Jiwoo looked up, her eyes hopeful. Jihoon looked down, then looked away. “It’s not as easy as it seems. First we have to go through court. After that, we need to be able to take care of you. I’m a struggling artist, so I don’t think it would be best for you to stay with me.” Jiwoo looked down. Jisung straightened. “If the company allows it, I could take you in.” Jihoon looked up in surprise. 

“Jisung, you’re an idol. When will you have time to take care of her? You probably don’t even have the time to take care of yourself!” Jisung looked down, knowing Jihoon was right. But he had to. “I don’t care. Jiwoo needs to leave the house. It’s not safe there. We got to leave, so she gets to as well.” He glared at his brother until the latter sighed. “Fine. But you need to talk about it with whoever you need to talk to.” They looked back at Jiwoo who was looking up at them, eyes bright. 

Jisung excused himself and went outside, looking for Daewon. He found Daewon scrolling through his phone at the end of the hallway. Jisung tapped his shoulder to get his attention, getting nervous. Daewon looked up and stood up.

“Are you done?” Jisung shook his head. “My sister will need a place to stay. Is it possible for her to stay with us?” Whatever Daewon was expecting, it definitely was not this. “What?” Jisung looked up to see complete confusion on the manager's face. “My sister might need a place to stay, so can she stay with us?” Jisung repeated. Daewon sputtered. “Jisung! First you drag me to the hospital. I find out that you have a sister and an older brother, which no one knew about. You were supposed to tell the company about your family when you entered. Now you want to take said sister into the dorms with you? There's so many questions about that. Why would she even need to stay there? Also your dorm? As in Dreamies dorm? She wouldn’t survive a day in there.”

Jisung reeled back, not knowing what to say. Daewon sighed. “Can you please just tell me the reason? I’ll bring it up with the rest of the staff but I need a valid reason.” Jisung’s eyes widened. He looked around, not wanting to meet the manager’s eyes. “It’s not safe at home for her.” he whispered. Daewon stilled. “Your parents…?” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Jisung gave a small nod and Daewon scooped him in a hug. “I’ll bring it up with the staff. But we can’t take her now.” Jisung nodded. “I know, we have to get the proper custody.” Daewon gave a small smile. “I’m sure SM will lend a lawyer if I bring it up with them.” Jisung gave a thankful smile and ran back into the room. 

Jisung shared the news with the rest of them. He now knew it’s been a few hours and that he missed practice. He took out his phone and grimaced. 70 missed calls and 150 unread messages. The phone screen lit up again, Jaemin’s icon flashing on the screen. Jiwoo immediately took his phone. “Oh isn’t this Jaemin? He seems very sweet! Can I answer the call?” Before Jisung could say no, she pressed answer.

“JISUNG WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? WE’VE BEEN CALLING NONSTOP. WE’RE SO WORRIED. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU BITCH?” Jisung’s eyes widened in horror as Renjun’s voice echoed through the hospital room. Jiwoo started laughing. “Language mister! You should check who you’re talking to before you start using those big words.” There was silence on the other end until Jeno’s voice could be heard. “This is Jisung’s phone. Who are you? A sasaeng?” There was hostility in his tone, which scared Jisung. Jiwoo laughed again. “Of course not! I hate sasaengs. I’m just someone who kidnapped Jisungie because he will forever be mine!” Her maniacal laughs pierced through whatever haze the two brothers were in. Jihoon moved first. “Jiwoo! You can’t just say things like that! They’re actually worried about Jisung.”

Jiwoo pouted. “Ok ok I’m sorry. I didn’t actually kidna-” Jaemin’s loud shout interrupted Jiwoo. “WHERE IS JISUNG?? WHERE IS MY BABY?” Jisung sighed. “Will you guys calm down? I’m right here. Please give me back my phone.” Before Jiwoo could hand over the phone, Donghyuck’s voice cut through. “JISUNG? WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU STILL? WHO WAS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” Jiwoo started laughing again. Jisung snatched his phone away and removed speaker mode, glaring playfully at the little girl. “Can you guys please stop cursing so much? You were on speaker in front of a twelve year old, idiots.” 

There was more silence until Chenle’s voice was heard. “Why are you with a twelve year old? What’s going on, Jisung? You left without warning, and basically disappeared off the face of the world and then suddenly you’re with a kid.” Jisung sighed. “I’ll explain when I come back ok?” Without listening to the replies, he cut the call. He looked over at Jihoon, who was sporting a smirk. “I have to go now hyung. What are you guys going to do?” Jihoon ran a hand through his black hair. “Ji has to stay here for the night, so I’ll probably spend the night with her. After that, I’m going to have to drop her off at home.” 

Home. It’s been a long time since Jisung thought of that place. It wasn’t even his home now. His home is back at the dorm. His home is the members. But he’s been lying to them for years. He might not have a home once his members find out. He suddenly felt a sudden itch at his thighs, wanting the feeling of a sharp blade. He looked back at Jiwoo, who was looking down. He sighed. “Ok, but be careful. I would come for moral support, but that would make them madder.” He gave them one final hug and then walked out of the room.

-

He was standing outside his dorm, contemplating what the hell he should say.  _ Oh hey I just went to the hospital to go visit my sister that I’ve never told you about. She was in the hospital because of our abusive parents so what’s for dinner?  _ He raised his hand to knock, but he couldn’t do it. Before he could even touch the door, it opened and he was engulfed in his hyungs warm embrace. He didn’t even realize how tired he was until he melted into Jaemin’s embrace. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the dampness of Jaemin’s sweater. He pushed himself off and wiped away his tears. 

“I’m sorry for going so suddenly.” he mumbled, trying to stop crying. He looked up and took a double take. All of the other hyungs were also in there. Now he definitely did not want to explain. He looked up at Taeyong’s glare and his eyes teared up again. 

_ You stupid! Stop crying, you pathetic excuse of a human being. You’re so fucking weak!  _

His father's words echoed through his mind. Jisung took a step back and took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I-” he was interrupted by pounding at the door. Jaemin opened the door and Daewon walked in. He quickly scanned the room and ran to Jisung when his eyes found him. 

“I got their permission for you Jisung-ah. We also got a proper lawyer for the case. We got in contact with Jihoon and everything seems to be set. It will be an easy win so don’t worry. She will be safe.” Jisung collapsed in relief, knowing everything will be okay. He looked up again, another question in his eyes. Daewon looked at him and nodded. “They will be notified and if all goes well, they will go to jail.” Jisung couldn’t help but start crying once again.

“What are you guys talking about?” NCT’s fearless leader stepped into the middle of the room. His sharp eyes pierced through Jisung’s. Daewon looked up and seemed surprised to see all of NCT in the dream dorm. “What are all of you guys doing here? Shouldn’t you be in your own dorms?” Taeyong glared at him. 

“He’s been missing since this afternoon. All we get is a message saying he’s ok. No information on where you guys are, or what you’re doing. Now you’re talking about lawyers while Jisung is sobbing into the couch. What the fuck is going on?” 

Jisung, wanting to get out of the conversation, got up and draped himself over Johnny. He was so tired. “Hyung, tell Taeyong hyung to shut up. I want to sleep.” Johnny blinked in surprise as Jisung leaned into him. The rest of the members silently snickered and cooed at Jisung. Taeyong looked back at Daewon, silently giving the look that conveyed the message that they were going to have a talk later. Jeno helped Johnny carry a sleeping Jisung into his room. Daewon looked up once more. “Before I go, I also came to give him his phone. He left it in the van.” He handed the phone to Yuta and left the dorm. Yuta looked down and was surprised to see 75 unread text messages.

He asked Jaemin to unlock it for him and he went to go check who would be texting him so much. He saw the contact name as “Jiwoo(but not my phone)” and raised an eyebrow. “Do any of you know a Jiwoo? Or at least know if Jisung knows a Jiwoo?” Everyone shook their heads and Yuta looked back at the phone. He opened the messages and gaped.

“Guys, I think our maknae has a secret girlfriend.” It was silent for a moment and then it was chaos. Jaemin wrestled the phone out of Yuta’s hands and started reading the messages. It was a bunch of emojis and stickers. They all said I Love You. The very last message was “I love you Oppa!! Have a good night!” Jaemin dropped the phone. “My baby… My baby… he… has a… girlfriend.” He sat down in shock, Renjun rubbing his back. Taeyong, who had gone to check up on Jisung, walked in completely confused.

“What’s going on?” Donghyuck looked up from where he was cuddling with Mark. “Our baby has a secret girlfriend apparently.” Taeyong froze. “No… he wouldn’t.” he stammered out. Yuta handed the phone over to the leader, who dropped it immediately. Taeyong stood up, his face stoic. “I’m waking up Jisung. He knows it’s against the rules. He’s also a minor. This is strictly forbidden.” 

Before anyone could stop him, the leader stormed off to the maknae’s bed, only to find it empty.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy this trash rant story. Please don't be afraid to leave a comment. I want to hear your opinions!!
> 
> Have a wonderful day!! Until next time!! - penguinmina_uwu


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